Mary and the Gift of Life after Miscarriage

Mary and the Gift of Life after Miscarriage

My husband and I have always taken our marriage vows seriously, including the vow to accept children from the Lord.  We practiced Natural Family Planning, and getting pregnant was never a struggle with our first three children. In fact, it seemed that as soon as we mentioned having a baby, I’d be pregnant.

After my third was two years old, I started to desire having another child, but I feared how hard it might be having a larger family.  I read the book Walking with Purpose by Lisa Brenninkmeyer in the fall of 2014 and felt a peace in just letting go and trusting the Lord.  If He willed us to have more children, it would be a great blessing.

Soon thereafter I was pregnant with my fourth child.  This child, however, was lost through an early miscarriage.  This was such a devastating time for me. It was a heartbreaking loss, something I didn’t expect to happen, but who expects such a tragedy to occur?  I felt empty and lost, and I was missing a child that I had already begun to love.

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A Consecration Journey: from Fear to an Adventure of the Heart

A Consecration Journey: from Fear to an Adventure of the Heart

I was born into a parish named Our Lady of the Assumption.  My parents wisely saw it fitting to have me baptized when I was one-month old on the feast of Our Lady of the Assumption.  On that day, my earthly godfather stood next to my parents as I was baptized, and I imagine my godmother, who my parents selected to be the Virgin Mother, came from heaven to join the invisible miracle of me being adopted as the daughter of God. 

I wish I could say that from that moment on my life with Mary, the Mother of God, was special and amazing, but it was not.  As a child, I saw her image as Our Lady of Fatima in my Portuguese home.  Every night, I prayed a Portuguese Rosary with my parents, but many times it was a foreign language to me, and I just followed the chant without really praying the words or even understanding what I was doing. 

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Pondering Mary, Mother of God

Pondering Mary, Mother of God

On January 1st of each year, the Church celebrates Mary as Mother of God.  What is provocative about this feast day is our belief that Mary is not only mother of Jesus the man, but also of His divine nature, for his humanity and divinity are inseparable.  The Father gave Christ to humanity—in human form—through Mary.  What we celebrate today is that within Mary’s physical body, divinity and humanity merge into one. 

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Prayer Journal: Grasping for My Mother's Hand

Prayer Journal: Grasping for My Mother's Hand

Years ago, a priest wisely told me, “Hold on to Mary’s hand. She will lead you as a wife and mother.”

Did I listen to these words? Did I clutch Mary tightly and lean on her?

NOPE!

Since then I have made baby steps towards growing in my faith. I’ve started to feel a deep calling from God. I have finally figured out that I need this woman - because I am struggling. I am struggling in my vocation. I am struggling with parenting. I am struggling with my faults, my sinfulness, and my inability to measure up to my own perception of who I should be.

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Ordinary and Chosen

Ordinary and Chosen

Have you ever had one of those moments where a priest gives a homily, or a speaker delivers a talk, and you feel like the speaker is talking directly to you? I attended a conference last year where Christine Simpson spoke, and something she said spoke to my heart—no, it penetrated my soul. 

Ordinary—she spoke about being ordinary.

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Overshadowed

Overshadowed

One day as I sat in a Ugandan taxi with my team of missionaries, one of them asked:  “If you could have one super-power, what would it be?” I eagerly listened to the group list off powers, which included telepathy, flight, telekinesis, and a variety of others. I was the first and only one to say “invisibility.” Yes, if I could choose to have any super-power in this fantasy Marvel world we were creating, I want to be invisible.

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