By Elizabeth Costa
My husband and I have always taken our marriage vows seriously, including the vow to accept children from the Lord. We practiced Natural Family Planning, and getting pregnant was never a struggle with our first three children. In fact, it seemed that as soon as we mentioned having a baby, I’d be pregnant.
After my third was two years old, I started to desire having another child, but I feared how hard it might be having a larger family. I read the book Walking with Purpose by Lisa Brenninkmeyer in the fall of 2014 and felt a peace in just letting go and trusting the Lord. If He willed us to have more children, it would be a great blessing.
Soon thereafter I was pregnant with my fourth child. This child, however, was lost through an early miscarriage. This was such a devastating time for me. It was a heartbreaking loss, something I didn’t expect to happen, but who expects such a tragedy to occur? I felt empty and lost, and I was missing a child that I had already begun to love.
During this difficult time I turned to Jesus and Mary to help me through the storm I found myself in. No one understood better the loss of a child than our Blessed Mother Mary. I clung to her in my sadness and pain. The Rosary was especially comforting during this time, and I meditated a lot of the Sorrowful Mysteries.
Once my cycle started again, my husband and I decided we would try to have another baby. For the first time in our marriage we did not get pregnant right away. My cycles are very regular—every 28 days. I kept hoping that nothing would happen on that 28th day, but sure enough a new cycle would begin.
I felt disappointed every time a new cycle started. We tried for several months, and we still had not conceived a baby. I was confused, I didn’t understand why I wasn’t getting pregnant when I had such a strong desire for another baby in my heart.
During this time, I began to see a book in different social media outlets and as a suggestion on my Amazon account. The book was called 33 Days to Morning Glory by Fr. Michael Gaitley. I felt like this book on Marian Consecration was something I needed.
I brought it to the attention of a group of women with whom I was meeting every six weeks to discuss Catholic books, women who would later become The Daughters of Mary. I was amazed when that suggestion led to over sixty women coming together to learn about Mary’s role in our Catholic faith and about her purpose in leading us all to her Son. At the end of the thirty-three days, we consecrated ourselves to Jesus through Mary on the Feast of the Visitation (May 31, 2015).
After my Marian Consecration, I began to rely more on my Heavenly mother and asked for her intercession to give me peace with her Son’s will. Through the Consecration I had learned more about Mary’s role in our lives. Just like all mothers, she desires to comfort us in our sorrows and guide us to what is good—her Beloved Son. If God was putting this desire for a child in my heart, I knew that there was a reason, and our Lord would be faithful.
With Mary’s sweetness and love, she guided my healing. I felt at peace that everything would be good. Even though I missed the child I miscarried, whom I prayed for, I knew that I could find peace in knowing that he was with Mary and our Savior in Heaven. This baby was my little saint, our family’s little saint, in Heaven interceding for us. As my husband once reminded me, our goal as parents is to help our children get to Heaven one day, and we already had one there.
About a month after the Consecration, I discovered that I was pregnant with my rainbow baby, another blessing from above. I don’t believe in coincidences but rather in God’s providence. Just like Jesus brought Lazarus back to life as a way to glorify God, I felt that God allowed me to go through the miscarriage to discover Marian Consecration. He then gave me a baby so that I could personally see the importance of Mary in my life.
Life after my Marian Consecration has been filled with blessings. Even in difficult times I find that I have Mary helping me to trust in our Lord and find peace in what is happening. Once we consecrate ourselves to Jesus through his beloved mother Mary, so many blessings occur, and our lives are transformed. Miracles happen! And my greatest blessing after the Consecration was my son.
Let us turn to our mother who loves us and desires nothing less for us than Heaven with her beloved son Jesus Christ.
Mary, my Mother, I give myself totally to you as your possession and property. Please make of me, of all that I am and have, whatever most pleases you. Let me be a fit instrument in your immaculate and merciful hands for bringing the greatest possible glory to God. Amen.
~Consecration Prayer, 33 Days to Morning Glory
For more information about our upcoming Marian Consecration, please explore The Daughters of Mary website.
Elizabeth Costa lives in Central California with her amazing husband, and they are raising four children with another on the way. She is passionate about her faith and family and speaks at women’s and marriage events. Elizabeth enjoys serving in different ministries with her husband, vacationing with their children, and spending quality time hiking, watching movies or in the pool.